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The real war on terror seems finally to have started. It looks like a conventional war, with towns and cities falling to enemy forces. This is no longer a hit and run thing. There are no suicide belts. They are finally adopting General Patton’s famous words…. “The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his”. (Photo courtesy:Wikimedia)

My eyes fell on the following news headlines of yesterday’s CNN, BBC and Washington Post. I grabbed my mouse and clicked up a storm……

-‘The Pentagon recently notified Congress that it plans to sell 200 Humvees to Iraq for $1 billion……’

-‘Washington is providing Baghdad with about $15bn in military equipment, under the foreign military sales programme……’

-‘Earlier this year, after ISIS took over Fallujah, the US began to expedite the sale of military equipment to Iraq, including 500 Hellfire missiles, 24 Apache helicopters, 10 F-16 fighter jets, and other weapons…….’

-‘The Pentagon has recently delivered 300 Hellfire missiles, millions of rounds of small arms, thousands of rounds of tank ammunition, with additional Hellfire missiles and Apache helicopters scheduled to arrive sometime this summer……….’

-‘10 Scan Eagle surveillance (drones) are on schedule for delivery for later in the year, according to the Pentagon……….’ 

Let’s do some math……

ARMAMENT/MANUFACTURER/ COST

200 Humvees/AM General, USA/1 billion

500 Hellfire Missiles/Lockheed Martin, USA/55 million

24 Apache Helicopters/Boeing, USA/480 million

10 F16 Fighter Jets/Lockheed Martin, USA/188 million

10 Scan Eagle drones/Boeing, USA/1 million

Other equipment/Miscellaneous/15 billion

————————–

TOTAL:             16.7 billion(17 billion worth of arms sold in six months. The African nation, Mali, has a GDP of 17 billion.

The time frame for these fast-track contracts is usually 6 months max. Everything is off-the-shelf. Most of the contracts are delivered even while the ink on them is wet. America is the Amazon.com of the armaments world.

What was that jingle I just heard? Ah, must be cash registers. And the thuds? That’s stacks of hundred dollar bills, hitting the walls of a vault in Fort Knox, silly. They don’t ricochet so you won’t hear any thudda-budda-boop, okay? Just a born-again God’s own grits-eating Christian thud.

More of yesterday’s headlines…….’The US is looking at “all options”, including military action, to help Iraq fight the rebels’ – US President Barack Obama. Poor Americans. Under the circumstances, kicking butt is the only Christian thing left to do, I guess. And help Iraq fight the rebels? He makes it sound like Boeing and Lockheed are charitable organizations giving all those goodies away for free.

I understand that they are now sending a 102,000 ton Nimitz-Class nuclear powered aircraft carrier there, to ‘help’ the Iraqis. And guess what the name of the vessel is? The USS George H W Bush, no kidding. Wonder what they’ll name their new Ford-Class carriers that are under construction? Maybe they’ll start with the USS Dick Cheney.

Even more of yesterday’s CNN headlines….’Iran’s President, Hassan Rouhani, pledges all possible military support, including special forces, to Iraq’s Nouri Al-Maliki, to combat the extremist Sunni Militants’. Poor Iranians. Now their special forces guys will have to share bunk beds with American special forces guys, in the Iraqi desert. They have ta train together, no?

Oh my God, all those stinking socks. Stinky armpits. Yeeeew. And has anyone told them that nowadays there are openly gay soldiers in the US army?

Please Mr Rouhani, ask your men to wear chastity belts.