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In November last year a Russian lawmaker, Yelena Borisovna Mizoulina, a minister in charge of women’s and family affairs, told colleagues that giving the president’s sperm to would-be mothers would improve patriotism in Russia. “Children born from the Russian president in the future can form the military and political elite of the state,” she said.

There was a sentiment going around Nazi Germany on how Hitler’s spermatozoa could be ‘farmed’ for similar purposes. We have all heard of the Ira Levin thriller and Gregory Peck starrer, ‘The boys from Brazil’. Maybe we will see a ‘Moskvy malo Putinykh’ (little Putins from Moscow).

As he began feeling invincible, Putin got rid of his wife of 30 years, Lyudmila Putina. Divorce is common in Russia, with nearly two million divorces in 2014, but Russian leaders are like the French. Unlike their American counterparts, they generally keep their domestic lives well out of public view and divorce among the elite is unprecedented, unnecessary in fact, when adultery is considered du jour, even de rigueur. Of course, Russian leaders don’t have to worry about the paparazzi. Tabloids dare not reveal anything. The life of an errant paparazzi in Russia is a very hazardous one. In the Moskva river bed lie many, encased in fast-setting cement.

In June 2013 however, Putin broke tradition and announced his divorce, perhaps with the not entirely unfounded belief that, with his approval rating hovering close to 90%, he was above any muck-raking.

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Lyudmila Putina

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Vladimir Putin and his wife Lyudmila Putina in a rare photograph of the pair together, taken in May 2012 on his return to the presidency. In June 2013, Putin announced that their marriage was over. He blamed his busy schedule, saying “we practically don’t see each other”. Lyudmila has always kept out of the limelight. The couple’s two daughters, now in their twenties, have rarely been photographed. Here is Maria. (I haven’t found a snap of the other daughter)……

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Maria Putina

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Maria Putina, far left, with her father, Vladimir Putin, 2007

In July 2014, Maria Putina, the Netherlands-based daughter of Vladimir Putin, felt the full force of a global backlash against her father in the wake of the shooting down of the Malaysian Airlines Flight-MH17 over Crimea with a Russian Buk surface-to-air missile, by Russian-backed rebels. The plane’s passengers were mostly Dutch. Even though it was a tragic accident, the plane being mistaken for a Ukrainian military aircraft, the subsequent efforts at a cover-up made Russia and it’s President very unpopular in The Netherlands and by association, his daughter too.

Amid growing fury in the Netherlands over the attack, Maria Putina and her Dutch boyfriend Jorrit Faassen left their flat in Voorschoten, just 32 kilometres from the airport where the ill-fated Malaysia Airlines plane took off.

The 34-year-old’s departure came after her address was leaked by Ukrainian activists online, leading to calls for her deportation. Having a father like Vladimir Putin can certainly be hazardous to one’s health.

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Meanwhile, not free of Lyudmila, Putin has gotten himself a bevy of beauties, much as an Arab sheikh acquires a harem. Here are some who will leave you in doubt that Putin has a nose for the sexy…

Anna Chapman

Ex-FSB deep cover agent, when she was outed and freed in a prisoner exchange. When she returned, Putin threw a welcome home party for her and the other members of her sleeper cell.

It is alleged that when NSA whistle blower, Edward Snowden, was in Moscow, Chapman was sent to seduce him and even get married to him, so he would be obliged to remain in Russia.

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Anna Chapman, now a Russian heroine, seen here modelling up-scale lingerie in Moscow (Getty images)

There is even a belief that Chapman came in contact with him much earlier and that, on orders from the FSB, she locked on to him in a honey-trap operation in Hawaii where he was stationed with the NSA, long before he scooted from the US. These sources claim that Snowden isn’t really the conscientious whistle blower/dissident/patriot/conscience driven martyr as he makes himself out to be. He is instead, they say, just another Aldrich Ames, a young, testosterone-charged American male who would do anything for a nice tight…ummm.. what’s that word for a kitten? I think Snowden is just another two-bit traitor who sold his country out and now lives in luxury in Moscow, reminiscent of the life of the 1950s MI5 turncoat, Kim Philby.

Once he was installed in Moscow, looking to maintain a sense of propriety in the eyes of the world, the FSB created for Snowden a past. Suddenly a girlfriend from Hawaii appeared on the scene and now they are living happily ever after, taking in the theater and the ballet over there and living the life of a happy couple, again, much the same way that Philby settled into the life of a member of the Moscow elite. Snowden might never have intended to leave Russia for South America, as he had initially claimed. I am pretty sure that he didn’t wake up in his Hong Kong hotel room one morning and said to himself,” All right, let’s split to Moscow.”

The debriefing of Russia’s biggest intelligence coup in history, is meanwhile on. Not that the information that Snowden spills to the Ruskies will be much help in the long term. The NSA is geared to re-engineer itself and press a sort of ‘reset’ button in the event of a leak, rendering all information dated and essentially useless after a while. But Russian spies-turned-traitors had better get a one-way ticket to Timbuktoo.

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Yana Lapikova

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In 2011, Yana Lapikova, a 25-year-old former Miss Moscow contestant, was appointed as one of Mr Putin’s official personal photographers on Tuesday. Till then, she had in her professional photographer’s portfolio, out-of-focus shots of fruit and flowers, some equally hazy pics of her neighbor’s cats and lots of racy shots of herself with nothing on except curlers.

Defending the latest addition to the team, Dmitry Peskov, Mr Putin’s press secretary, said the press service had been looking for a new photographer for some time because the others were too busy covering events attended by Mr Putin’s deputies. He insisted that the selection was based entirely on professional merit.

Yeah, right.

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Alina Kabaeva

The fourth, who is said to be Putin’s current flame, is Alina Kabaeva, a gymnast who revolutionized rhythmic gymnastics, perfecting a new slow-turn, back split pivot maneuver that is now known in the world of gymnastics as The Kabaeva. Alina is widely reported to be already married to Putin and has had two children with him.

Looking at Alina, you really can’t blame Putin, can you? I mean what was he supposed to do when he first saw her at the slopes in Sochi? Take out his prayer beads?

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Alina Kabaeva – gymnast par excellence. I understand that she is riding a new bare-chested, bald-headed pommel horse these days (Courtesy Wikimedia)

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Say what you will about Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin, but the 62-year old Russian Pres knows how to impress women one-third his age. If you want to be him, it is actually quite simple. Learn martial arts (you needn’t be too good at it, since the other guy has no desire whatsoever to do hard labor in Siberia). Get yourself a 2000cc Harley Davidson and ride around bare-chested with a motorcycle gang. Take selfies with bears, tiger cubs and huge bear-sized Siberian huskies. Know how to ride horse-back over rugged terrain, again, bare-chested. Oh yeah, the easy part – build yourself a $500 mill dacha on the Black Sea, while you deny it is a thank-you present from your billionaire cronies.

Across Russia there has been a wave of adulation from Russian women, young and old. Many young Russian females have formed their own Putin Fan Clubs. In 2010, as a gift on Putin’s birthday, twelve female students and alumni of Moscow State University’s prestigious journalism department published a calendar featuring photos of themselves in lingerie, each woman pretending to be his lover.

One group, which calls itself Armiya Putina (Putin’s Army), produces slick videos professing that they will march to the ends of the earth for Vladimir Putin. Members are seen here in a Bikini Car Wash Putin rave-fest that they had organized in Moscow. They were photographed swaying their hips and chanting, “Putin, you put my fires out but I’m still burning…’  –

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Bikini Car Wash, by Armiya Putina (Image courtesy:AP)

The following are a few sample videos uploaded on YouTube by Putin’s young female fans that I found interesting in their blind idolatry, reminiscent of Hitler’s female fan following:-

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Not all the lovelies are enamored by Putin of course. You can’t win ’em all. There is the famous incident at a EU summit at Hanover, where two young women charged at Putin, screaming “F—k Putin! F—k Putin!” Putin’s amusement is clear from the still of the scene….

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Gate-crashing German protester at EU meeting, with Vladimir Putin and German Chancellor, Angela Merkel. That Putin is tickled pink is clearly evident. (courtesy:AP)

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At the heart of this Putin-mania is one man, TV anchor Dmitry K. Kiselyov, hand-picked by Putin to run Russia’s official news agency, Rossiya Sevodnya (Russia Today). Just in case you weren’t taking the situation in the Ukraine seriously enough, Kiselyov has reminded Russian viewers that his country is ‘the only country in the world that could turn the United States into radioactive dust.’

The news anchor made the menacing diatribe, standing in front of a mushroom cloud graphic in the studio.

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Dmitry Kiselyov and his mushroom cloud threat

During the above telecast, Kiselyov chuckled that the US President Barack Obama was very concerned about Russia’s nuclear arsenal, particularly its alleged ‘dead hand’ system, the Soviet-era technology that allows a nuclear strike to go ahead even if the Russian leadership is incapacitated. It is unclear if the system still exists.

Besides naked threats that are designed to make Putin look larger-than-life to Russian citizens, Kiselyov is the man behind all those photo-ops with wild animals, the horseback riding, those jet fighter flights and the adoring young women.

Seems to me as if Vladimir Putin has found his Joseph Goebbels.

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