Not a day passes when I don’t marvel at how well I have adapted to the Canadian winter. While almost all my other immigrant friends from the tropics cower indoors, I am out and about, feeling the sting of the wind. Yeah, when you’re outside in -10° weather, it stings the tip of your nose and the lobes of your ears.
The Canadian winter can be pleasant if you want it to be so. I still prefer the Canadian summer, for reasons that will make you think I have a one-track mind, but I have grown to appreciate the cold too. It is quite simple actually – if you invest in proper, high-end, really really warm winter wear – stuff from NorthFace or Kanuk and if you can manage to stay comfortably warm outside, winter is the most enjoyable period of the year.
The mistake most of us make is that we go looking for a winter jacket at one of those chain stores that get all their stuff from China and we buy one for $150 and think we got a great bargain, because the one at the Kanuk store sells for $800. What we don’t realize is that with the Kanuk jacket you can be out the whole day and not feel even a bit uncomfortable in the chill.
You want ta enjoy the Canadian winter? Research thoroughly and buy the best there is. For a whole outfit, consisting of jacket, fur-lined overalls, mitts, cap, ear muffs, boots and socks, you might drop a cool $1000 but trust me, it will be worth it. Hey, if you are a man, you need balls that won’t freeze.
I feel so comfortable in winter over here that it is almost as if I had been here in an earlier life. We Hindus believe in reincarnation and I might have been reborn a zillion times till I got where I am now – a hotshot hunk filled with raw muscle and razor sharp intellect.
One of my reincarnations must have been here in Canada, when everything was covered by snow. Who knows? It might have been 10-20000 years back.
In the last Ice Age, I could easily have been a long-haired brawny hunk alpha male, helping the neighbor’s daughter strike two slivers of flint together ta start a fayah. It was so cold those days that if you didn’t start a fire real quick, you froze.
I must have held Brabika’s hands in mine while I showed her the exact way the flints had to be struck and one thing might have led to another…….
“I was thinkin’ maybe you would like ta come up to my cave and check out my collection of sabre-tooth ice axes and mammoth kneecap clubs,” I must have said, with a lascivious grin.
She probably rolled her eyes, picked up a massive block of stone and dropped it on my foot and said,” Kirist, another bullshitter with a corny line. Why don’t you just say you want ta jiggledypoo?”
Now do you see what we humans used ta be up to during the Ice Age? If you count all my reincarnations, I must have jiggledypooed at least 1000,000 times. Most of you must be my descendants. Be nice, guys.
Anyway, I must have used that line frequently through my reincarnations since I used the very same words in this life as well, when I was single. Of course, I had to make sure I had the things in my apartment that I wanted the girl ta see and so I filled my pad with all sorts of corny stuff you wouldn’t believe.
To all my single male friends – it is a general misconsepshun that women don’t want ta jiggledypoo. They do, just as much as you. They just don’t want it ta seem easy.
But this album is about the winter, remember? So, here are some winter photos from around and about my town – trees, snow, roads, rail tracks, traffic and