Have you ever taken the time to just wander aimlessly around the city you live in? I do that often, with my Nikon pocket-sized dynamo.

Montreal – the city of murals, this one of a wanton woman, the kind I would like ta get ta know. The mural is exquisite, covering the whole side wall of a 4-storied apartment building and must have taken the artist quite a while to paint. If I stood next to it, I wouldn’t even be able to reach up to the blue pumpkin, bottom left.

She was the Queen of the Amazons, Penthesilea, whose mercenary army of Amazons the Trojan King Priam had contracted, to try to stop the Greeks. Achilles fought and killed her, but it is said that he was so enamored by her beauty that he was struck by remorse for slaughtering her. He wept, holding her severed head by the magnificent mane of hair.

You might think Achilles was a dumb schmuck for killing such a magnificent specimen of the female awesomeness. If I was in his place, I’d be whispering to her instead,”Hey, Babe, let’s get the hell outa here and go skinny dip in the Aegean instead.”

Seriously – in fact I have the inside track on this one – those days, a Greek hero was like a robotic soldier. Honor and pride was all that counted. Everybody believed there was a rich, thriving afterlife for dead heroes, with nymphs galore. Dying heroically was cause for celebration.

But even the great Achilles’ will to militarily prevail was momentarily distracted when Penthesilea’s sheer chiton slipped in the heat of the intense hand to hand combat and her ample baobabs sorta spilled out. This wardrobe malfungshun made him almost not see the mace she swung at him, coming. I can relate to the distrakshun of waylaid minds.

But then, those days, for dudes like Achilles, the system was rigged to the hilt. His mom, the nymph Thetis, had been bestowed magical powers by the lech she was shtupping, named Zeus and her spell saved him by a hair’s breadth. Just as the mace sailed at him, a voice from the heavens boomed, ‘Duck!’ and he lived to fight another day.

What? Think I’m pullin’ a fast one? I’ll have you know that Dotty (Herodotus) was a close friend…..